I am not alone

I am so thankful for loving family and good friends. I don't know how I'd get through this life that the Lord has chosen for me without them. Christmas turned out to be a nice day. We had a house full of family and friends, which is such a blessing. It was a day filled with joy and laughter. I wasn't alone, and you can't imagine what that means to me.

I sat through a Christmas Eve service without Jimmy for the very first time in fourteen years. He wasn't there holding my hand through the service like he always used to do. I missed him so much as we lit our candles and sang Christmas carols. It broke my heart, but praise the Lord I wasn't alone. I had my precious friends Jeff and Ginger on one side of me and my sweet in-laws on the other side. What a comfort it was to just have them there.

My heart broke as I wrapped the boys' Christmas presents on Christmas Eve without Jimmy. I missed how silly and giddy he got the closer it got to Christmas morning. He always stayed up late to make sure that everything in the house was just as it should be before he went to bed. I longed for him to be there, but thank you Jesus, I wasn't alone. My sister came upstairs and endured wrapping tons of presents with me (she got stuck with lots of oddly shaped boxes that aren't so easy to wrap!). She made me laugh and kept me company. I love her for the amazing woman she has become and the source of strength she is for me.

When the boys woke up Christmas morning, I wished more than anything that Jimmy was there to see them. I wanted the boys to wake up to their dad fidgeting with the video camera while they were anxiously waiting to tear into their gifts. My heart hurt, but God is good, I wasn't alone. When my boys woke up on Christmas morning, they didn't see their dad, but they did get to see a bunch of family that love them more than they could ever know. They woke up to smiles and laughter (and lots of presents!). They laughed and smiled. It did my heart good.

The Lord was so good to me when He put me in the family that He put me in. He blessed me abundantly when he surrounded me with the friends that are in my life. Each and every one of them have taken the edge off of the pain of the last eleven months. I truly don't know where I would be or how I would have survived this season of my life without them. Thank you to all of my precious family and friends. I love each and every one of you SO very much! I pray that as a new year begins, the Lord would bless you for all that you have done for me and for standing by my side. Thank you SO MUCH for not letting me walk through this alone!